Millard Athletic Association

Learn life through sports
Teaching Life Lessons through Sports 

by Dr. Michael Simon

Playing sports can teach kids things like discipline, respect, and responsibility- but kids need your guidance to learn these life lessons. This story will show you how to find and use "teachable moments" on the playing field.

In this three-part article we will focus on sportsmanship, which, at its core, deals with right and wrong. We will present two situations each day, one to use with younger athletes (ages 6-11) and one for older athletes (12 and older).

Click here for other topics:
Honesty
Respect

The situations are divided into age groups because a child's attitude about sportsmanship depends on his cognitive development; younger athletes will think, act, and feel differently about what is right and wrong than older athletes.

These precise situations may never come up, but similar ones probably will. Use them as a guide, and keep your eyes open. Sports can truly be a wonderful tool to help you teach your kids about life!

How to use this story

Read the sports situation and questions to familiarize yourself with the issue at hand.
Read the age-appropriate situation to your child.
Use the sample questions to encourage discussion.
Identify and discuss other relevant situations in sports, including pro sports.
Finally, discuss real-life situations, such as things that happen in school or at home, that deal with the issue at hand.
Part 1

For parents of older athletes (over 12):

The Situation:
The coach of a traveling all-star team always starts his child, even though there are more deserving players.
The Issue: Fairness
Fairness involves playing by the rules, taking turns, and providing equal and merited opportunity. In this case, the coach is playing favorites. While there is probably little a player could do to change a coach's bias, learning about equal and merited opportunity will help your child try his or her best regardless of the situation, and act fairly when placed in positions of leadership.

What You Can Do
1. Ask your child:

How would you feel if you were on this team and the coach always started his child? Is that fair or unfair? Why?
Why do you think the coach is starting his child over more deserving players?
What would you do if you were the coach? Why?
What would you do as a player on this team? Why?
2. Explore as many sides of the argument as possible.

3. Discuss the concepts of fairness, and equal and merited opportunity by saying something like "It's only fair that everyone on the team gets a chance to show their stuff" or "By giving everyone a chance to play, the coach will be doing his part to strengthen team unity."

4. Ask your child to think of other situations in sports that are not fair, why those situations are unfair, what he or she would do in those situations, and why.

5. Ask your child to identify and discuss other situations outside of sports (such as at school or in situations with peers) that are unfair. Examples include situations involving prejudice and preferential treatment.

For parents of young athletes (6 to 11):

The Situation:
A gifted youngster who has never played in an organized program is playing on his first basketball team. In his excitement, he is hogging the ball and even stealing it from his teammates.

The Issue: Fairness

For the young athlete, learning to share, take turns, and cooperate is a major milestone, especially in team sports. While children do not fully understand the concept of "team play" until the age of 8 to 10 years, it is okay to begin to encourage and reinforce the ideas of taking turns and sharing when a child is as young as 3 or 4.

What You Can Do

1. Ask your child:

How would you feel if this player was on your team?
Why do you think this boy is hogging the ball?
What do you think is the right thing to do? Why?
What could you say to this boy if you were on his team? 2. Discuss the concept of fairness, sharing, and taking turns by saying something like "Taking turns makes playing sports fun for everyone," or "Sharing the ball let's everyone get a chance to play." 3. Ask your child to think of other situations in sports that are not fair and what he would do in those situations and why. 4. Identify and discuss situations outside of sports (at school or with peers) that are unfair. Examples include not sharing toys and cutting lines.